Navigating Grief: Valuable Life Lessons My Dad Taught Me

It has been 21 years since my dad died. Losing an active parent at the age of 9 was tough. I was too young to truly understand much about death and how it affects you but I knew that he was no longer here physically. Losing him was like losing a puzzle piece to your favorite puzzle. Reflecting over the years I had with him before he died, I realize that he instilled some pretty important life lessons that have helped shape me into the person I am today. I want to share 3 of those lessons with you in hopes that each inspires you on your journey in life.

Lesson #1: Never Give Up

I wish I had a picture or video to show you how I struggled to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels.

I couldn’t wait for the day I could ride up and down the street with the other kids in the neighborhood and feel free, but instead I held onto those training wheels as a safety net for as long as I could until the day my dad took them away.

Every day after school at my nana’s we were practicing. If I fell, I got right back up and we gave it another try. If I was only able to go for a few seconds before asking for help to stop, he was right there to help me, but the next time I was pushed to go a little further. I’m sure I wanted to give up several times and go back to training wheels because it was easier, but my dad never gave up on me and I’m so glad he didn’t!

He never got to see me be successful at riding a bike but the day it happened, I imagined there would be a huge grin on his face if he could’ve seen me. It happened randomly one day in my backyard. I remember my mom and other grandmother being present but I got on the bike and just started peddling. The next thing I knew, I was going in circles all around the backyard without any assistance. That was nobody but my dad in my head encouraging me to keep trying.

Life is hard. I’m a trust testament of it. Life will take you on a ride of highs and lows but we can’t stop pushing forward. Greatness is waiting on the other side.

Lesson #2: Family is Important

Growing up on my mom’s side of the family, we had family reunions every other year. On my dad’s side, we did not. I have a faint memory of being either at my nana’s house or my great-grandmother’s house looking through family photos because my dad had an interest in bringing our extended family together. He always made it a point to ensure that I knew my family. He got this from my nana. Every moment that I spend with her, she shares stories about her mother, father, and other family members who are no longer here.

Family isn’t just blood relatives. The neighborhood my dad grew up in was also family. Growing up, I knew just about everyone who lived on my nana’s street and everyone who visited. Her home was truly a home of hospitality full of great conversation and amazing food.

In every state that I’ve moved to, she makes it a point to connect me with family nearby to ensure I’m never alone. She loves her family hard and never lets me forget how important family is. I’m grateful that she instilled that lesson in my dad to pass on to me.

Lesson #3: Hard Work Pays Off

I truly never saw my dad not working. Whether it be his 9-5, working on his carpenter skills, or his determination to get my nana to learn how to work a computer… the man was always working!

Before my dad got sick, I felt like Home Depot was our second home. We were always there to buy wood, paint, tools, etc. Thinking back on my bedroom and playroom as a child, most items in there were built by him. There was a toy chest, bookshelf, desk (with hidden storage), chairs… I’m sure I’m leaving something out. The man truly had a gift and loved to create. (I have him and my mom to thank for my creative mindset). Today Home Depot is no stranger to me. I’m always in there for the latest creative project I’m working on. If he were alive today, I know we’d be working on several projects together.

The day my dad brought a computer to set up at my nana’s house I thought it was for me to play games, but I later found out that he was determined for her to learn how to work a computer. I’m so grateful that he wanted his mother to learn the latest technology. He knew the world was about to change and didn’t want her left out. I know for a fact, that it paid off because today my nana loves her tablet whether she’s reading, playing games, or enjoying Facebook.

Never stop working on your passions. You never know who’s watching and who finds inspiration in your work. My dad’s drive continues to live in me each day to go after my dreams.

This post is in honor of my nana’s birthday and her forever encouragement to share my story. Nana, I love you, and thank you for always encouraging me! ️