Daring to be Vulnerable
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Why is it so difficult to show people our true authentic selves without fear of judgment? For years I viewed being vulnerable as a weakness of exposing myself. I’ve had a wall of armor up most of my life to avoid being seen or feeling shame for not being “perfect”.
Perfectionism has haunted me for years and I hate that it has held a dark cloud over me for so long. No one is perfect but unfortunately, society has told us differently and I believed it. I’ve often heard people tell me that I don’t open up or I’m hard to talk to. Old me used this as a defense mechanism with the response, “Oh, that’s just how I am.”
Looking back on it, that was painful to hear because on the inside I know I’m a loveable person with so much to offer but on the outside, I let fear hold me back. Naturally, it does take me some time to build trust to open up to others, but my fear wasn’t tied to that. It was my internal fear of worrying what others will think of me so I just balled it up and kept it to myself and a few select people in my circle.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome” -Brene Brown
Having no control over the outcome has been my issue. I avoided many experiences because the possibility of a negative outcome scared me. I wasn’t able to admit this to myself until I sought out a therapist and she recommended I read The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown. Her book and therapy are truly changing my life.
A New Perspective on Being Vulnerable
Being vulnerable isn’t easy. However, today I’m in a place now where I want to be courageous and practice openness and awareness to grow my relationships and embark on new adventures that get me out of my comfort zone. We miss out on so many many opportunities by not being true to ourselves from friendships to relationships, job opportunities, and new adventures.
I have a new perspective on vulnerability after reading Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection. I am aware of my struggles but I am making an effort to change. Is it scary? -Hell yes! The difference this time is,
- I’m no longer saying “Oh that’s just me”.
- I’m taking COURAGEOUS BABY STEPS and becoming excited when I’m placed in a situation that allows me to practice vulnerability.
- Letting go of the worry of what others may think of me.
I don’t believe there will be a day when I can say I’ve mastered vulnerability. No one can. It’s a forever journey.
Do you struggle with vulnerability? If so, what are you doing to become comfortable showing your vulnerable side to others?
