Embracing the Unexpected: Healing and Growth on the Grief Train
A never-ending ride
With several stops along the way
Each stop, a lesson in crafting a new normal
The old me fades away
Life is a series of transitions, each bringing its own set of challenges and opportunities. It has been about two months since losing my Nana. Navigating life since then has been quite a roller coaster of feelings. I’m not new to the grief train but this has been the hardest loss of my adult life from an emotional perspective. My nana was my girl! She was the definition of a praying grandma and my personal cheerleader who offered encouragement when I needed it the most. Since her passing, I’ve had to learn how to live a new normal without her. The person I was before no longer exists. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but I’m giving myself grace by taking it one day at a time. As I continue on this journey, I want to share insights and experiences that are helping me navigate this ride while embracing change and continuing to bloom even in the face of loss
Reflecting on Cherished Memories
Since my nana’s passing, I hadn’t thought much about this blog. I wasn’t giving up, but I wasn’t sure what I could offer anyone while still in pain. Life, however, has a funny way of turning things around for you. Recently, my cousin and I were texting, reminiscing about the good times we shared with my nana personally and together. I recalled a moment when I told my nana about my blog that she later shared with her friends OUTLOUD on her birthday last year. Talk about a scary moment having someone read your vulnerable thoughts. She was so proud of what I created. I’ll never forget her calling me to say “Jay, you’re a writer. The world deserves to hear this.”
Me… A writer???
She believed in me before I believed in myself! While I’m so caught up in my head wondering who would care to read my words, she’s telling me I’m a writer and to keep writing. She would often tell me that I had a gift and a story to share with the world. I struggled to understand what gift I possessed that the world needed, and even more to overcome the vulnerability to share it. Within my circle, I excel at being an encourager and offering perspective, but sharing that with the world? No, no, nooo!
All along this has been the gift I’ve held back for so long. Launching this blog has been a scary step of faith, but knowing that I’ve always had and will continue to have her encouraging words in my ear makes this faith journey a tad easier. Coping with loss is hard but cherished memories are with us forever to navigate us along the way.
Embracing Self-Care Practices
I had a pretty good self-care routine up until her passing then I completely fell on the wagon. I stopped exercising, lost my appetite, leading to weight loss, neglected my plants, stopped journaling, and I had not an ounce of creativity left in me. My body shut down and I felt numb to everything. This lasted a few weeks, and I knew I didn’t like the path I was on. Yes, grief is hard, but being intentional helps us work through it. Self-care is crucial to me, so I had to learn how to incorporate it into my new normal. Here are some small meaningful practices that are vital to my healing process.
- Nature Walks
- Walking through the park or my neighborhood, alone in my thoughts surrounded by Mother Nature’s beauty, reminds me that beauty and joy still exist. These walks feel like a moving meditation, offering me the space I need to process my thoughts and emotions.
- Reading
- Losing yourself in a book is a gentle escape from the weight of grief. Reading has always been my way to escape from the world we live in and dive into a fictional world full of new adventures. You can check out my Goodreads profile to see my latest reviews and reads.
- Exploring Hobbies
- Exploring new hobbies and revisiting old ones has been crucial in my healing journey. Engaging in creative activities has provided a much-needed distraction and therapeutic out. Whether it’s trying a new hobby at home or in the community, these activities offer not only a creative outlet but also a therapeutic escape. For example, here’s a photo of a paint-by-number painting I completed. It was a fun activity that allowed my brain to rest from worry
- Journaling
- Returning to my journal routine has been a lifeline lately. I’ve explored different methods of journaling depending on my mood (physical journaling, digital journaling, voice notes, and the How We Feel app). It is my safe space where I can be honest with myself and honor my nana’s memory through words. Guided journal prompts have helped on the days when I feel stuck. Sometimes, just the act of putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard helps release the emotional burden I carry.
Each of these self-care practices offers a unique way to nurture my mind, body, and soul, reminding me of the importance of prioritizing my well-being even during the most challenging times.
Finding Motivation and Wisdom in Their Words
As we journey along the grief train, the words of our loved ones hold a special place in our hearts. When I relocated from Memphis, I was filled with mixed emotions. A part of me felt sad knowing I wouldn’t be able to see her as often but she was so thrilled about my new opportunity (didn’t I tell you she was my favorite cheerleader). Her enthusiasm for my job and move exceeded mine. She always encouraged me to never limit myself, igniting a spark that continues to guide my journey
Finding Support and Community
Finding support and community are essential on this journey. Before losing my nana, I was blessed to have found therapy where I’ve grown on a journey of self-discovery and healing. Therapy has been instrumental in shaping how I navigate this season of grief with courage and openness.
Grief isn’t just about sadness, anger, or confusion. It’s a kaleidoscope of emotions that can include joy and peace. When I scroll my nana’s Facebook page, I’m filled with joy and peace knowing that she lived a life full of love and adventure. My therapist often reminds me that grief isn’t linear. We shouldn’t feel guilty when positive emotions shine through us.
In addition to therapy, my circle has also played an invaluable role in my journey. Expressing my needs and vulnerabilities has been a personal challenge, but it’s crucial for others to understand how they can support me best during this time. Some days, I prefer solitude to process my thoughts. Other days I crave company and a distraction that brings laughter and lightness. And then there are days when I want to reminisce about my nana and share stories of her vibrant spirit. Their willingness to adapt has made this journey more bearable than I could have imagined. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone on this journey.
Navigating the Grief Train
Navigating the grief train is a deeply personal and transformative journey. Finding support in cherished memories, self-care practices, embracing all emotions, and a loving community are essential to navigating through the journey. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and lean on others during this time. As I continue to find my way through this new normal, I want to make myself available. If you have any questions about my journey or want to share your own experiences, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Feel free to reach out and share your stories or ask for advice. Let’s support each other and find strength together, turning our grief into a path for growth and blooming, even in the face of loss.
